I never wanted to be a painter, I wanted to be a tapdancer [entries|friends|calendar] russ_E! [ userinfo | livejournal userinfo ] [ calendar | livejournal calendar ]

[Saturday March 15th, 2008 at 11:53am] im trying and that is what is important. I am being more than I have ever been before. old Habits die hard. Old opinions die even harder. I am working everything one thing at a time. a struggle is only to be expected. I am understanding what it is to be content with ones self (trying). one day at a time 1 Makeover| YOU LOOK FUGLY!.

make it count [Friday February 29th, 2008 at 11:10am] Its a FUCKIN leap year... MAKE IT COUNT!!!!!!! YOU LOOK FUGLY!.

[Thursday February 14th, 2008 at 6:57pm] [ mood | content ] bills bills bills...... someone should give me money , a car, and a heart thats not broken YOU LOOK FUGLY!.

[Monday February 11th, 2008 at 10:28pm] watch me from away .. ill do the same i promise YOU LOOK FUGLY!.

[Saturday February 9th, 2008 at 10:51pm] my fig tree had died.. and I am alone. I am never gonna die my soul is torn and all I want is to be left alone YOU LOOK FUGLY!.

night time [Tuesday February 5th, 2008 at 9:56am] 1 Makeover| YOU LOOK FUGLY!.

loves it [Wednesday January 23rd, 2008 at 10:56am] [ mood | silly ] YOU LOOK FUGLY!.

blame game [Monday January 21st, 2008 at 10:51am] [ mood | sore ] most of the time i just want to rip my eyes out. I cant stand it at all. then sometimes I cant get enough of it. it makes me want to vomit. Im stressed my whole body hurts my head is pounding.. I might have a concustion(sp) w/e maybe Ill bleed to death on the inside while I sleep. how poetic. do die beatiful on the outside. and bleeding to death on the inside... makes you think doesnt it. and its for me only for me not for you not for you not for you.......... but i will always rember you. xoxo russell YOU LOOK FUGLY!.

[Saturday January 19th, 2008 at 12:36am] [ mood | drunk ] [ music | kelly clarkson sometihing? ] i love you joe thats all needs to be said no form shape or matter all that matters is i love you joe and you know that xoxoxo russ YOU LOOK FUGLY!.

[Friday January 18th, 2008 at 7:39pm] [ mood | crushed ] its just not fair pretty mucfh that is it sometimes things are just not fair that is all that is all im just wanna sign out russ YOU LOOK FUGLY!.

[Monday January 14th, 2008 at 11:41am] nothing is holding you down ... nothing YOU LOOK FUGLY!.

[Saturday January 12th, 2008 at 12:44pm] I ate a pack of sugar because michelle darned me it did not work out hahahaa!!!! let me fall into your arms and fall apart YOU LOOK FUGLY!.

[Thursday January 10th, 2008 at 10:00pm] [ mood | scared ] I watched page master today and thought of the boy the whole time. I was funny. I sat there and thought what memories would this bring back to him would it any. I got stoned and worked on the novel ( dont hate it ) tried to live in a false reality as long as possible phone was pretty much quiet I was tired all day Im really sad.. I feel alone. this is takin more energy than I can swallow is it over. I miss my bestfriend xoxoxo-russ YOU LOOK FUGLY!.

[Thursday January 10th, 2008 at 2:14am] [ mood | blank ] i got high all day came h ome drank a glass wine and fell asleep very tired and longely. woke up at 4 am check my phone nothing. smokeed some pot... and is going back to sleep . nothing more nothing less. has been working on the book for days. Needs to get all the papers back. very wrapped up in a false sense of everything now. did I knwo this ld happen some day some how. Did i want this no it found me. and I held on was I ready probaly not. I did the same wrong thing again. did I not learn? was there not enough time inbetween? Its all very uncleear. its quite diffrent to loose some one that falls under the best friend catgory and love interstet. it pulls . in such a odd way. I have no one ot call for my odd events that need to be shared through out the day. its sad and some am I back to sleep I need the day to come -xoxoxo russ YOU LOOK FUGLY!.

[Tuesday January 8th, 2008 at 8:43am] when things come to an end I hope Im there to stand my ground. its a famalir situation with a familar sound. I know what is coming and so do you... it wasnt enough to break through me to break through you YOU LOOK FUGLY!.

[Tuesday January 1st, 2008 at 12:32pm] so many ppl jessica josh josh eli antoinio tara melissa jason thom emi chelisa labean kynata ....... joe.................. YOU LOOK FUGLY!.

open [Monday December 31st, 2007 at 9:46pm] Chimney falls and lovers blaze Thought that I was young Now I've freezing hands And bloodless veins As numb as I've become I'm so tired I wish I was the moon tonight Last night I dreamt I'd forgotten my name 'Cause I sold my soul But I woke just the same I'm so lonely I wish I was the moon tonight God blessed me I'm a free man With no place free to go Paralyzed and collared-tight No pills for what I fear This is crazy I wish I was the moon tonight Chimney falls as lovers blaze I thought that I was young Now I've freezing hands And bloodless veins As numb as I've become I'm so tired I wish I was the moon tonight How will you know if you've found me at last? 'Cause I'll be the one be the one be the one With my heart in my lap I'm so tired I'm so tired And I wish I was the moon tonight I'm so tired I'm so tired And I wish I was the moon I'm so tired I'm so tired And I wish I was the moon tonight - neko case you know endings are funny, they come when ever you are looking right at it with a closed heart. blinded by the over look. blinded by every wrong in the book. Giveing to be forgotten. loves never to be forgotten. a struggle for more or less. TO dead to be alive... to forgotten to be saved. two hearts on the same buring page. fighting to stay. but loosing short there after. Broken promies never made. I have no words that fell from my tongue that need to be saved. baffled will not be a thought. The sensations have been coming. Falling from your eyes falling from your hands... forgeting is your heart... I can not explain but I must not stay. my life is short and I fold on this game I love you russell YOU LOOK FUGLY!.

[Saturday December 29th, 2007 at 10:00am] Im changing Im changing or at least Im really fuckin trying ...............you? xoxoxo russell YOU LOOK FUGLY!.

[Monday December 24th, 2007 at 9:47am] A half muffled i love you through a closed door is all I need not to loose control YOU LOOK FUGLY!.

[Friday December 21st, 2007 at 8:33pm] my mind is so empty except for you echoes respond in the shapes so true mishaped shadows with grey and white edges questions are answered with symbolys and not a language to follow after blured heart beats and stuttered speach your never to far to reach for him YOU LOOK FUGLY!.

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